Body
-------- Forwarded Message --------
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Fw: Beer & the Wheel
Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2018 01:39:44 +0000 (UTC)
From: Norman Wootan <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
To: Norman Wootan <[email protected]>
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
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----- Forwarded Message -----
*From:* "Pre mbold" <[email protected]>
*To:*
*Cc:*
*Sent:* Sat, Jul 21, 2018 at 8:06 PM
*Subject:* Fwd: Fw: Beer & the Wheel
*The two most important events in all of history were the invention
of beer **and the invention of the wheel.*
Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vice versa.
These two were the foundation of modern civilization and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into
two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at
night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of
what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were less skilled at hunting
(called/'vegetarians'/ which was an early human word
meaning/'bad hunter') /learned to live off the Conservatives by
showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching,
and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became
known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements
include the domestication of cats, the invention of group
therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to
decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the
largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.
Modern Liberals like special flavored beer (with lime added),
but most prefer white wine spritzers or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu,
and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting
evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher
testosterone levels than their men.
Most college professors, social workers, personal injury
attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group
therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals
meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated
hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still
provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the
military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers,
engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and
generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own
companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is
why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives
were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted
that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to
this post.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the
absolute truth of this history that it will be shared
immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more
liberals.
And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true
self, I'm going to grab a few beers and grill some steaks! Right
after I forward this message
*A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and don't
have one, you'll never need one again.*
*/RLTW / DOL/*